When the World crashes.

Warning: Angst.

Have you ever felt useless?

Have you ever felt that no matter how hard you tried, you’d always be at the back? Have you ever felt that you’ve not only let yourself down, you’ve let people who put their faith in you down, too? Have you ever felt that you’ll always know somebody’s always got the upper hand? Have you ever felt like giving up? Have you ever felt like running away? Have you ever felt so sick and tired of people and you just want new ones?

Well, I do now.

This is why I’m so sensitive when people talk to me about performing. It’s not like I’m not trying. I’m crawling on even though it hurts. It’s the craft I claim to be my forte. And I suck at it. Plainly put – I bloody well suck. But you see, I don’t do anything else better. I can’t do anything else.

I’m sorry, then, I can’t live up to what you want me to be. Sometimes you forget I’m human, too. That I feel weary and the lack of drive just like you. But I’m sorry anyway.

I’ll go back to do what I do best – The mask is waiting. The act is beginning. Like Shakespeare said, “All the world’s a stage.”

Note: I do not want sympathy, empathy, pity or any form of sorrywords. I will, in response to these replies, be very sarcastic as well as ignore you for a while. I also do not want comfort or any “What’s going on”s. Sheesh, it’s my BLOG, isn’t it? Can’t I write here without getting pissed off? >_>

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